Oh, October

October is a fantastic month. The colors of fall abound; you get to dress up like a total jackass or complete skank at least once during the month, and no one else thinks a thing of it – in fact the most common responses are compliments; it’s college football season; the weather is [usually] gorgeous; caramel apples and pumpkins are readily available at any grocery store; and it’s the beginning of chili season.

My love for October professed, I must now say I do not understand why, in the city of Chicago, cold weather strikes immediately upon the calendar turning to the 10^th month. Now, when I say cold, I don’t mean winter cold – it’s not -4 degrees with a wind chill of -14 or anything like that – but when I left my apartment this morning, it was 44 degrees, which is definitely chilly enough to warrant a coat. I obliged and pulled out my fall coat for its season debut; however I was not willing to completely concede to the cold weather. So in my coat and flip flops, I walked with extremely chilled toes to the train station and stood on the windy platform awaiting my ride.

Reality of the climate set in when I got off the train and started walking to the office in the even windier Loop. I had flashbacks to the oh-so-recent seven-month winter this great city endured last year, and it made me quite depressed. I know you other Chicagoans can commiserate that you are NOT ready to deal with that crap again. Ugh. Hopefully we’ll have a warm-up in the temp later this month before we are forced to deal with another seven months of living in ‘The Polar Opposite of Hell,’ but that could be wishful thinking.

I watched ‘The Biggest Loser’ for the first time last night. It’s the family edition. I can see why it’s such an inspiring show – good for them!! What I don’t understand is: If everyone in this country who watches it is so inspired, why are we [as a nation] still covered in thick layers of cellulite? I’m not saying I’m not partially to blame in this equation, but seriously people. Let’s get it together.

After ‘The Biggest Loser,’ a new episode of ‘Law & Order: SVU’ came on. In college, I watched that show all the time – I couldn’t get enough. Looking back on that now is horrifying. The episode last night was about a 17-year-old kid who had a crush on (and had abused) his five-year-old step brother. SICK. Who wants to watch that stuff? I ended up turning the episode off halfway through, after the 17-year-old’s mother killed him and was crouched on the floor sobbing and cradling his dead, bloodied body. Nothing about watching that situation unfold on a TV drama improves the quality of life for anyone.

For those of you who aren’t familiar, John Kass is a daily columnist for the Chicago Tribune. A friend of mine and I are constantly joking about how ridiculously idiotic and absurd this man’s columns are, and today’s is no exception. This one is a true gem: http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/columnists/chi-kass-01-oct01,0,5966158.column.

First of all, have I been living under a rock? Apparently, spider-goats have been around for eight years. Eight! This is the first I’ve heard of them. Have you all been out there with the knowledge of these goats, and just failed to mention it to me? Thanks a lot, guys – much appreciated. Second, while that chicken does look rather unappetizing, it seems like it could potentially save a lot of chicken-slaughter labor costs (are all my squeamish, border-line-vegetarian friends freaking out right now? Sorry!). I don’t really like thinking about my food’s state of being prior to its state of being on my plate – but realistically, pre-plucked and crazy-looking super chickens are probably a gold mine. If the picture didn’t come up in Kass’s article, see it here: http://www.nextnature.net/?p=668.