Could be worse...

I always wonder how many people walking around the Loop during lunch time are dreading going back up to their corner offices or tiny, bulletin-board walled cubicles. When I think about the percentage of people who are dreading it, I always also wonder deeper, into why they might be dreading their afternoons at work.

You totally screwed something up at work, and you just know your boss will have found you out by the time you get back from lunch?

You have a meeting for which you are nowhere near prepared?

You're afraid you might really get fired because you know you've been slacking off and fear all the wrong people have noticed?

You're having an affair with one of your co-workers and you're ashamed to be in his or her presence?

You know your superior is going to ask you for something you haven't done yet, even though it was due yesterday?

While all of these reasons are potentially quite valid, what I always neglect to realize the actual reason for many peoples' dreading of the office: "I hate my job. Plain and simple, I am miserable in my environment and I don't feel challenged enough by what I do. There may not be anything specific about it, I may meet all my deadlines and complete all my projects, but there is still something about it that causes this sense of fear and dread to rise up from the pit of my stomach and make me feel terrible about returning to the office after lunch."

Now for a lucky few, you're probably thinking, "Actually, my job is alright. That was just the Chipotle burrito I [shouldn't have] had for lunch. Damn it."

But for most of you, you always have that feeling that you could just be a little bit more satisfied. There's something that would leave you feeling more fulfilled, whole and purposeful - but you're working so hard not to lose the gig you have, you can't find the time to search for something new.

Many of my friends are in that situation - however today I met a guy who is in a different type of situation. His dread involves the all-too-common OR.

Nate. I saw him walking down the street today at lunch. He's a financial analyst in his late twenties. He's tall with blond hair and a chubby figure. He's wearing navy blue slacks, light brown/tan shoes and a neatly pressed white shirt. He looked good - but there was something very miffed looking about him. It was that stare in his eyes that said, "I'm thinking about something that makes me uncomfortable, but I can't talk about it, so I'm just going to stay unhappy until I get to go home at 5:00."

For some reason, Nate made me more curious than normal to know what was irking him so. As a result, I chose a table right next to his after I followed him all the way to Panera, stood in line behind him and ordered the exact opposite of what he did, as to not appear suspicious - good thinking, because I'm definitely not already creepy enough.

After sitting at the table next to his for about five minutes, I decided to say something. Lamest icebreaker ever - I noticed his pop was almost empty so I said, "Hey, I see your pop is almost empty. I'm going to fill mine up, want me to get you some more?"

As any normal human being would when approached at random by a total stranger, he refused my offer with a confused look and went back to doing his crossword. Surprisingly, however, when I returned from my pop run, he struck up a conversation. He asked me what kind of pop I was drinking that made me so friendly. "Just Diet Coke," got the response, "Oh, me too. I guess it doesn't have the same effects on everyone."

Officially, one of the lamest conversations of which I've ever been a part. Eventually we started talking about work - and by eventually I mean immediately, since we each only had one hour for lunch anyway. I told Nate he seemed really on edge, like there was impending doom awaiting him upon his return to the office or something - so he told me why, and it was in fact because doom was awaiting him.

Nate had been at his job for about 18 months when his current boss came to the company. She's about 10 years older than he, no kids, never married - simply a workaholic. Almost instantly the two of them hit it off and started having drinks together after work about once a week. After a couple months of once-a-week drinks, the drinks turned into dinner, dinner turned into, "You wanna come upstairs?", which turned into more drinks, which turned into making out, and so on. This was about six months ago.

Due to a rather strict company policy, Nate and his boss kept their OR (office relationship) under wraps, and still do. However, about a month ago, a new girl who is a couple years younger than Nate started in the marketing department. Since he noticed her, he's been coming up with any excuse possible to go over to the marketing department - and she is definitely hooked on him. They make out in the stairwell, they grope each other in the elevator - they're totally into each other. But Nate still has this relationship with his boss.

This morning, the new marketing girl was at his boss's desk talking and laughing with her when Nate arrived. Both of the women smiled and waved at him - neither one noticing that the other was doing the same. Nate smiled and sat down - wondering to himself what it is that he missed in this equation.

As the morning wore on, both boss and marketing girl were loading his inbox with inappropriate emails - typical behavior for a Monday - one yearning for the time spent with him during the weekend past, the other starving from a weekend without contact.

Each one wanted to have him for lunch that day, each one wanted to talk to him after work. But as the lunch hour approached, his boss actually said she couldn't take him out to lunch as she normally did, because she was finally going to have lunch with her young cousin who just started with the company - in the marketing department.

After that, coupled with the morning pow-wow, it didn't take Nate long to put together who the cousin was. Oops. That was about 30 minutes before I saw him looking forlorn on the street and followed him to Panera.

I don't know what's going to become of Nate or his lovers - but I do know this: After hearing Nate's story, I started to feel much better about my own situation. It really put things into perspective for me. No matter how bad things are in your own life, chances are there's someone out there who has it worse. I may be stressed out about a deadline, but at least I don't have to worry about my job and my love life failing as a result of one another.

The Resurgence.

Though I am no stranger to blogs or blogging, quite some time has passed since I regularly read and wrote blogs. Well I have news for you, friend. I’m back. I have a new format, and since I cannot access any of my old blogs because they were created with a university email account to which I no longer have access, I have provided links for you, should you choose to click and relive some of the glory days – which primarily took place in La France.

Over the past several weeks and months, it has occurred to me many-a-time that there are things in my life daily about which I could easily blog – and I like to think these are the same things others will too find interesting – or at least entertaining to some degree.

For example, about two weeks ago I was on my way to work in the morning, and I was lucky enough to get a seat on the train. It was an aisle-facing seat, so naturally there were standing passengers directly in front of me. For anyone who is unfamiliar with the eye-level of a seated “EL” passenger, it is approximately at the belt-level of those standing. On that particular day, the man standing right in front of me and facing me was wearing charcoal gray trousers and a black leather belt with a silver buckle. What was different about him is that he had clearly forgotten to check his zipper before stepping out his door that morning.

I’m sure everyone has been in a situation and noticed something unfortunate about a stranger (spinach in teeth, zipper down, food on chin, bird crap in hair, etc.). Now the question is: To tell or not to tell? If I had any sort of unfortunate situation going on, I would most definitely want to be told about it – regardless of whom was doing the telling; however when I am the one telling someone else, the decision of whether to tell or not becomes less clear.

In the past, I have made both decisions – to tell and not to tell – and my conclusion is it’s an incredibly situational decision. A girl at a bar watching a football game with a large group of men – wearing simply jeans and a hooded sweatshirt, nothing fancy. She was the only girl among them, and I noticed that her sparkly purple thong was hanging out of her probably-too-low-cut-to-be-worn-by-anyone-over-21 jeans, and I decided on a girl-to-girl basis that it was only right to let her know – clearly it was not hanging out on purpose. She expressed great gratitude, because you know none of those meathead guys were going to mention it, and I went back to my table having accomplished my good deed for the day.

Conversely, a businessman commuting to work in the morning who is standing on the train directly in front of a fellow commuter. The seated commuter happens to notice the businessman’s fly is down – but it’s a quick trip downtown, he’ll be in the office and soon enough he will notice that he might have a problem should anything… arise. This one is best left alone – and so that day on the train I opted to keep my mouth shut and let the fly work itself out. Wouldn’t you have done the same?